I came into a car dealership applying for an ad for a secretary. The interview was really short and they flat out told me they weren’t going to hire me. I understand I don’t have more experience with cars, so I wanted to give a parting gift of these face masks I make for employers to remember me by. You might think it smells funny, but that’s all about my brand imbedding itself into your memory. You begin to get dizzy and slump lifelessly into your chair. All you can do is stare at my ass while I encourage you to just relax and keep breathing through my special face mask. The big and powerful boss seems to have lost all control. I bet you wish you would’ve just hired me. Now, you’re under my spell, a loyal worker bee working his butt off to impress his queen. I can get whatever I want from you, even a brand new car! You’re my work bitch now and will obey my every command.