I spent a long day walking around in my dirty old sandals, which are perfect for showing off my pretty pink pedicure. I know how anxious you are to kiss the tops of my feet. I’ve had these sandals for years, and my filthy soles are proof of that. They are practically falling apart and barely dangling off my sweaty feet. What a delicious treat for a hungry foot boy. I know you want to taste that marinated instep of my sandals. I can’t believe how smelly they make my feet, caking them in years of grime and salty brine. I can see your eyes watering as you worship my feet. I wonder if those are tears of joy or from the powerful funk of spending so long underneath my feet. Lucky you, now that my dirty sandals are destroyed, I’ll just wear your mouth to suck up all the sweat from these hot summer days.